Please like me... please.... pay attention to me.....
In order to make me a little more human, I wanted to share with you all my pictures of Halloween. This is my brother (you know the one that's fascinated with throbbing cocks) and me on Oct. 31st in our matching costumes. Aren't we adorable?
Let me just start out with my regular disclaimer. I’m an idiot, yes, I am. Now that we all agree on this, I can get back to the business of trying to apologize to all of the decent people out there whose minds have been polluted by thoughts of me. Or whose eyes have been stricken blind by the sight of me, but since I have no friends and nothing resembling a normal life, I have to get all of my kicks out by being online and pretending to be what I’m not. Like intelligent, and funny.
See, those are the two that make me, the tiny, teeny normal side of VA, cringe within her misshapen skull. Intelligence and Humor, the two things that I am lacking in such obviousness that you’d think I would have caught on by now. You would think I’d notice that no one is interested in hearing what I have to say. You’d think that I noticed that there are long, long silences after I make a “funny” instead of laughter. I however, being completely self-involved and totally devoid of all good human qualities, ignore these little irritations and move right on.
But seriously. Like my joke about soldiers? Why didn’t anyone laugh at that? I thought it was real funny, how I copied the letter that my friend got from her overseas hubby. Er, fiance. Or whatever I said. We all know that since I don’t have any friends, this was just another false story of mine. What is not false is where I got the excerpt for the letter. My brother wrote that to me, when he was away at summer camp in 1989. It was a very touching letter and I thought it was sweet how he called me his puma. I thought for sure that trainwrecks and all of the really cool people there would embrace me as a friend after that post. I mean, those are the people I’m aiming for, to be my target audience. I want their attention so bad! I admire their ability to sit on their asses and judge people they don’t know so much. I want to be just like them… oh yes, I am like them I mean, except I have that little habit of going “too far”. I have to work on that. Maybe do a few “normal” type of blog posts and see if anyone cares once I stop attacking children and women that others actually care about. Nope, shit…no one cares what I say.
This latest thing, where I ask all of these imaginary “readers” to chime in with their suggestions for a catch phrase for my site might be what pushes me over the edge. I mean just think of all the time I’ll spend clicking, and clicking, hoping to find that even one single, solitary person took the time to read what I said. Imagine my disappointment when I find out that not even one, single, solitary person wants to help me think of a pet name for my disgusting troll pit of a site? Think of all the time I will then have to put into it myself, making up catch phrases and trying to pretend that other people made them up for me? I mean, I know I can get all the support I need from my brother and his friends over at NAMBLA, but I want real people to pay attention to me!
Anyway, I want people to notice me! I want people to like me! Don’t listen to what I say about being mean! I am really insecure, and all I want is…. an audience. But I guess I got carried away, like my many doctors have told me over the years and started mixing fantasy with reality.
Fantasy- that everyone on the internet will think I am a really smart, insightful person with a lot of things to say, and I will have legions of faithful fans (much like those dang mommybloggers) that will come to hang on my words every day and nod at them, and discuss them with their friends and neighbors.
Reality- once the furor over my manipulation of photographs of other people’s children (that I stole) has died down, no one GIVES ONE SINGLE TENTH OF A SHIT WHAT I SAY. Oh yeah, that’s right, they never cared what I said anyway. The only possible way I can draw people to my site is through illegally filching children’s pictures and defacing them. My words? Meaningless. My knowledge? No evidence of any such thing. My intelligence? Nonexistent. My fans? Nowhere to be found.
I hate me. Oh god....Please someone..... put me to sleep.
posted by Violent Acres @ 7:09 PM
4 Comments:
It's true. i think she will do something deperate soon because everyone's lost interest in her. maybe she'll photoshop someone's grandma. How cool.
You are way out of line with your comment about the soldiers in Iraq.
Perhaps you should get up off your pitty party ass and go do soemthing if you dont want to be the pathitic fat loser bully that you seem to think will make you popular.
Nobody likes a bully and they never win. You will get yours someday and it wont be pretty. Just like you, bitch.
While I myself am not much of a VA fan.. consider your own postings. The whole top portion of this post pretty much says heavy people are OK to ridicule and make fun of. They are a lesser person so you can associate them with VA with no problems. Consider that when you are pissing off at VA for disliking other groups.
The very fact that you went so far as to make a whole site with several postings says that she indeed has an audience.
The second fact that people are coming to this site thinking this is the real VA, means that her audience goes beyond just you.
Tsk, all this effort and not a single humorous or original thought to be found.
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